rellen (rellen) wrote,
rellen
rellen

i see things that aren't really there

I awoke to the smell of cat turd. Sure enough. Light on, eyes open, there was a cat turd lying on the bed beside my pillow.
It was really there, but that did not break the magic of the dream nor the hold it had on me.

Now only the last bits remain, late in the day, and a long day at that. These bits I retained with a concious interpretation because I WANT TO REMEMEMBER: I see things that aren't really there. I was in a large house with many bedrooms. Friends and family were sleeping in their rooms all up and down the hall. I was in a darkened kitchen doing the dishes. Over the sink there was a bar through which I could see into the living room. Looking into the living room I saw a can of something, maybe oatmeal, on a shelf near of a stained oak book case. It was positioned near the floor, the second shelf from the floor. In front of my eyes, I watched it appear (or was it disapper?) It freaked me out. In the dream, the reason we were all staying together in one house was to watch out for one another, to protect ourselves against "the evil"- which is not what it was called, but conceptually that's what it was. As far as I can remember it didn't have a name. Call it ghosts, zombies, the devil and his minions, them out there.

So there I was, the only one awake in the whole house and I see this apparition. I ran down the hall screaming at everyone to wake up, that "they" were here, inside the house. No one seemed to hear me. Finally, in the room closest to the kitchen, the door ajar, slept G's parents. At first, like the rest, they seemed deaf to my plea, but then both of their eys shot open, their eyes glowing blue in the dark. They awake calmly and listened to my concern. Then just as calmly, G's father asked me to show him where it had happened. I took him into the living room. G had explained that I was in the kitchen doing the dishes. Somehow it felt as though he were defending me, against what I can't be sure; uncertainty, perhaps? Anyway, it wasn't there (or else it was) and this wise old man could sense no ill. He calmly explained that it was a trick of the mind. Later, in a crowded dining room the four of us sat at a table near the middle of the room. It was well lit and people were conversing all around us. D explained about all the hallucinations he has experienced in real life, day-to-day life and how he had to cope with them by first realizing they weren't real and then just going with the flow, that is, not letting others onto the fact that he was having a looney moment. He explained it in such a way that I could almost picture what he saw before his eyes and see him just going along through life rather nonchalantly, as though nothing were the matter. He explained about a mechanical device (we just happened to have one on the table) that would allow one to manipulate these images somehow, but only the elderly could take advatage of it. I asked him if I may, and he said "well of course, since you're 60"

It was very bizarre.

Interpreting: Clearly I have huge amount of respct for G's dad. He really does see to go through life with a very care-free happy-go-lucky kind of attitude and he is very successful (perhaps as a result of this). But in the dream, he had problems of perception (as everyone surely does). We all cast what we see in the light of our own mind and whatever perverse thinking has shaped our "reality." We all must deal with this sort of lack of a common paradigm, but we need not freak out about it. So I saw something that wasn't really there (or didn't see something that was), but as long as I could recognize it for what it was- i.e. not real, then it would all be okay.

I don't know what the blue eyes mean. Perhaps wisdom. Perhaps blessedness (in the arcane sense).

In any case I think it humourous, this dream. And I want to remember.
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